Letting go of worrying - Time for yourself

 Today I am sharing with you an article that is very dear to my heart, because I read it several times myself and that is why I have saved it. Now I am sharing it with you because I think you may find it useful. It definitely will for me! 

It's called: The Magic Formula for Letting Go of Worry. 

 When you were trying something new or preparing for a big change, you were probably overwhelmed by fears and worries. You may feel that at that moment you have no choice but to give in to the flow of emotions that come with big changes or new beginnings, but you are wrong.

Dale Carnegie, probably one of the most influential self-help gurus of all time, has come up with a strategy he calls "the magic formula for letting go of worry". It's a calm, dispassionate process in which we overcome worry and feel a sense of calm.

Through advanced planning, we can learn how to control the tide of emotions that overwhelm us and move forward in a calm and grounded way. In the next exercise, we will learn how to deal with anxiety and move forward towards the realisation of our mission.

Step one: examine the problem

Carnegie's magic formula starts by examining the problem a little more dispassionately than you have been thinking about it. The first step is to examine the problem fearlessly and honestly.

Start by writing down all your concerns, even if they seem very personal. Write down everything. Then write down everything that is clouding your mind at the moment. The purpose of this is not just to empty your mind of all worries, but to write down worst-case scenarios.

For each worry, ask yourself this: "What is the worst that can happen?"

For example: I am worried that I will be fired from my current job if I pursue my passion because I will not be supported to do it outside of work.

Step 2: Accept the worst possible outcome

Having written down all your concerns and worst-case scenarios, in the next step accept that this might be what happens. We need to accept the worst-case scenario so that we can relax. When we are in the grip of fear, we cannot concentrate. We cannot make decisions with confidence. We cannot see the true nature of the battle that awaits us.

The good news is this: as soon as we stop resisting the scenarios we fear, we start to relax. We start to focus on solving problems and move faster towards the realisation of our meaningful mission.

In the previous example, the worst possible outcome was losing my job. This is how we can accept it.

I am worried about losing my job. If that happens, I know that there are vacancies available with another company. I can use my LinkedIn profile to connect with people working in the same field. If that doesn't work, I can contact former classmates who may know of a business opportunity that I would like. Whatever happens, I can start looking for a new job... maybe even one that I want even more.

Step three: minimize the problem

In the last part of this exercise, we need to take the time to figure out how we can improve the worst possible outcome. This may seem unnecessary because we have already accepted the worst that can happen, but something magical happens in this step. It is, in Carnegie's words, 'making the problem smaller'.

We focus on the future, we stop thinking about 'what will happen if...', and we shake off the guilt and shame. In this step, you just have to ask yourself: How can I mitigate these consequences?

Let's continue with the example of job loss.

If I lose my job, I will not be able to pay my bills. However, I would feel much less stress if I had enough savings to pay six months' expenses. I will start putting money aside every month until I have saved enough to pay my expenses for six months, even if I lose my job. Then I will make an appointment with a financial adviser and ask him how I can get the best possible interest for this money.

Take time to process each problem and the worst possible outcome you have accepted. Write down how you can improve each situation and mitigate its consequences.

And this

This exercise is not just about writing down the facts, for example, the real concerns and the possible consequences if you take a risk; it can also be used to examine your fears objectively and dispassionately.

Herbert E. Hawkes, former Dean of Columbia College, once told Carnegie: "If we are willing to spend the time to get unbiased, objective facts, our worries tend to evaporate in the light of knowledge." If you take the time to plan, your fears will disappear; you will get to work, and instead of fears, you will feel a deep peace.

I have been greatly helped by this article I have indeed implemented it several times and will continue to use it. See you again in 4 days. Don't forget to subscribe to my newsletter as it's the only way to keep up with my posts. Have a wonderful day.